It has always taken me a long time to heal from a broken heart. Infuriatingly long. Instead of a month or so, it’s more like a several. So, of course, I am amazed by people who get over things faster than me.
Being Resilient About Love Is Helpful
But then there are the people I’ve considered too fast. Like, either they’ve got someone lined up before they break it off with their current Significant Other (SO) or they bounce back and return to the dating game before long. Those people always used to make me wonder: Were you in love? Did they mean anything to you? Can you date anyone?? How did you become so resilient? Please can you teach me??
There Isn't A Specific Get Over Your Ex Time Frame
Now that I’m a matchmaker I see that this was not the right attitude. The breaking-up process and its consequences depend on the individual and we can’t generalize because it’s very subjective, so we’ll all have our own answers.
But, more importantly, who am I to judge how long people should wait between relationships or how they process their break up? Who am I to say they weren’t head over heels in love just because they are resilient?
Now I keep my judgement in check and when I think I am falling back into old habits; I have my ways to talk myself out of it.
But that doesn’t mean I throw caution to the wind.
Find Out If You're Relationship-Ready
When working in the love business you do need to make sure the singles that sign up are ready for a relationship. Their matches need to be single, emotionally available, over their ex, and interested in a committed relationship.
Below are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you’re ready to start a new relationship.
- When you are having a conversation, does the ex come up often?
- Do you constantly compare potential partners to your ex?
- Do you blame the break-up 100% on your ex?
- Do you still live with your ex, have more than one box of stuff in your house or have a key to their place?
- Do you make excuses to see your ex?
- Have you examined the reasons why the relationship ended?
- Have you looked at your past dating patterns and understood which patterns are healthy and which aren’t?
You can also consider these questions for the person you are interested in, to see if they’re is relationship-ready.
But remember: Asking these questions is easy. Answering these questions are relatively easy too. The hard part is paying attention to the answers, especially if they don’t align perfectly with what you want.
Get top tips on having the right mindset for falling in love HERE.
Ariadna Peretz | Relationship Blogger