I know…it doesn’t sound romantic (or sexy) but if you’re after a long-term relationship instead of a one-night hook-up with a random you need some sort of framework based on science and psychology. We have expertly combined the two by incorporating the following six dimensions.
A bespoke matchmaking service for London based professionals
When I tell people about our matchmaking service the first question they ask is ‘How do your dating experts match clients?’
In this blog, we open our HQ doors a smidge to reveal how we do the matching so you can do the falling.
What dimensions are used for matchmaking?
To maximise the chances of finding the perfect match we’ve created and adhere to our very own matchmaking methodology. These are all explained below.
1. Deal Breakers, not Dealmakers
Deal Breakers are where it’s at! By saying what you don’t want instead of what you do want you open your pool to potential matches that never would have made it through otherwise. Which is a good thing, right? Are you telling me that you don’t have friends who would say that they have no idea why they are a match and that the one ended up being the person who wasn’t actually their type? (BTW if the ‘usual’ was working you wouldn’t be talking to us, right?!)
Don’t worry, before you commit to any Deal Breakers, you will discuss your options with your Dating Consultant to make sure you choose wisely.
2. Personality Matching
Let’s be frank: If your personalities aren’t compatible, the relationship won’t last. That’s why we use The ‘Big Five’ Factor Model to understand your personality and how you’ll interact with someone else. We do this by actually getting to know you over the phone (something you’ll be hard-pressed to find with other online dating platforms) and getting you to complete a personality quiz.
The ‘Big Five’ Personality Groups at a glance are:
- Openness to experience or imaginative – If you have higher levels of openness you will be interested in learning and trying new things, always willing to explore new ideas, perspectives and activities.
- Conscientiousness – You exhibit more goal-oriented behaviour and you’ll be serious about using your ability to structure your time and get organized.
- Extraversion or sociable – This personality trait is measure on an introversion-extraversion continuum. You will be someone who is very confident in social situations and you’ll prefer to get your energy from the world around you rather than from within yourself.
- Agreeableness or thoughtful – This is a measure of how much you try to accommodate others. You’ll be very cooperative and willing to help others in times of need.
- Neuroticism or zealous – This is your degree of emotional stability. You’ll overthink problems and may have difficulty in dealing with common stressors in your day-to-day life.
How you score on the personality quiz will help us understand what you like to do and who would be the best person to do it with.
For example, someone who scores high on Imaginative will feel restricted if dating someone who scores low on it because the person who isn’t open to new experiences won’t want to deviate from the habitual. Instead, the Imaginative person should date someone who scores high on Sociable because the Sociable person will enjoy getting their energy from doing different things and their Imaginative match will enjoy trying new things. Being aligned on the Big Fives doesn’t mean it’s a match made in heaven but you’re that much closer to it.
3. Your Ex
Who you dated in the past will let us understand who you should date in the future. We will ask you questions to understand whether you have learned to be vulnerable and if you feel secure and have a high capacity for empathy and connection. Don’t worry, life is a journey so there’s no need to feel bad if you are still learning how to do this.
4. Relationship Role Models
For better or for worse, who took care of you when you were a child and how they took care of you has huge ramifications on how you give and receive love in your adult life.
Our dating experts will help you identify your relationship role models and figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship – Do you want your future partner to also be your BFF? Do you want her to be nurturing like your mother? Do you want him to be your prince in shining armour? Whatever it is you have in mind (or if you’re not quite sure yet), we’ll figure it out together.
5. Your Romantic Hopes & Dreams
We will ask you what you’re looking for in a relationship and how you would like your future partner to make you feel. Chances are you’ll say you want to feel loved but what else…Valued? Sexy? Treasured? Spoiled? Your comments will give us an idea of your expectations and will also give us a glimpse into the challenges you’ve faced in your previous relationships so we can help you overcome them as you move on.
6. Background Check
Just because you both like football (or cheer for the same team) doesn’t mean you’ll be a great couple. In fact, research shows class and/or background are more important than hobbies and interests, especially when it comes to grown-up relationships.
We will still ask you what you do in your spare time (among other things) because a little bit of compatibility can go a long way. This is especially the case if it’s about a particular passion or love you might have (e.g. social justice or fighting animal cruelty) because it connects you at a deep and meaningful level.
Hey, what about…Being Drop Dead Gorgeous?
Attractiveness hasn’t been added to our matchmaking process…and that wasn’t an oversight!
Attractiveness is completely subjective and most people will agree: The more you get to know and like someone, the better looking they get. (And the opposite happens when you realize a person isn’t so pretty on the inside). What makes you attracted and attractive is the deeper human connection that only starts to take hold when you start talking and sharing.
So, if you’re looking to use our dating service because you’re looking for a modern dating agency, we need to help you focus more on what matters (your personality, past and hopes for the future) and less on what doesn’t.
We hope this has been a helpful blog post and gives you clarity on how we choose your dates. Send us a message if you have any questions about the six dimensions we use to connect busy professionals give us a shout!